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I grew up in a family where there was constant conflict. We fought dirty and we fought to win. My husband grew up in a family where he can hardly remember a time of conflict. This made for an interesting transition into marriage as our conflict styles were very different. He wanted to avoid conflict at all cost and I was ready to fight and win. Fortunately my husband and I have the example of Solomon and his bride to learn from and try our best to implement the example they have set instead of resorting to our comfortable conflict styles. In chapter 5 of Song of Solomon we see the couple have their first fight and show us how to fight clean instead of fighting dirty. They accomplished this by pushing for resolution. Most couples have a track record of conflict, but they don’t have a good track record of resolution. For good couples, conflict will expose character but for bad couples it exposes immaturity. Conflict is inevitable but resolution must be intentional. I have heard the Song of Solomon teaching session on conflict for many years but just recently started to implement this principle in my life. It has made a world of difference and I can honestly say that my husband and I have grown closer and our marriage has become healthier from learning to face the conflict and push to resolution. Whether you are single or married, relationships will flounder or flourish based upon your ability to resolve conflict. Are you wounding your spouse each time you have a conflict? Are you fighting to win? These are questions I have to stop and ask my self as I enter the inevitable conflicts that come our way. Resolving conflict in a healthy manner will can bring you closer together and is a part of building a strong and healthy marriage. |
Conflict is Inevitable
